DIARY
So I do not forget.
"DogSpit"
Wednesday, 31 January, 2024
I have been smitten by the wonderful process of graphic design. I have been making digital collages in Photoshop and InDesign on my school computer. It is the most fun I have had with art in forever. I want to make a zine out of it. Fill it with stupid imformation and hide it in the forest or trashcans in public bathrooms. I would love to write it in English, but I would feel like a loser if I would sell a zine about Swedish stuff to Swedish people that was written in English...
Anyway, this zine I would make, would have to be named Dogspit. There is no other option. Ever since I came up with it for my more experimental site (it is under very un-enthusiastic construction, I think I have fallen out of the interest to make it. We will have to see), I have not been able to avoid working it into my art. I keep refining its meaning and nailing down the perfect aesthetic I like to work with. I have been bad at showing my more maximalist artistic habits here, because when I started making KROKODIL I was, and I am still, not that good of a coder.
I feel my now half-a-year long obsession with NeoCities is dying down. Very sad, but I will not throw it all away. I still do find the HTML-coding medium facinating and I will come back here as often I want to.
Bye for now, I will check in a bit whenever I want to. Email me if you want to tell me something.
"gurg"
Friday, 12 January, 2024
I just downloaded code writing program Brackets! I am looking forward to using it, especially since I have plans to rearrange the layout and add more fun stuff. It takes the pressure off to not build stuff it on the site because "What if someone sees that I have made a new page and enters it and THERE IS NOTHING THERE! HOW TERRIBLE!" It would also allow me to put all pages that are only there for storing a single feature somewhere else than my crammed dashboard.
I have so much homework to do, and it has only been the one week of school since break ended... It has been getting warmer lately, the winter is slowly dripping away and turning into gray-brown puddles and compact ice. I am very tired but I still can not shake the relaxing feeling of weekend. On sunday I will celebrate a little extra christmas since my aunt was sick on actual christmas and wants to celebrate with us now that she is not sick anymore.
"The Kids are Not Alright, they are Alt-right."
Thursday, 11 January, 2024
For some reason, I decided to play Roblox yesterday. I have had an account to play with my brother, but ever since he stopped playing, I have not logged in. But yesterday, I was very, very, very bored. Nothing I drew looked good and there was no new ideas to try out in my head, but I still wanted to do something creative. And I remembered that you can draw on Roblox!
For those that do not know (lucky you), Roblox is a "game", that lets you make your own games and share them with others. These games range wildly in quality, most of them being pretty bad and/or only trying to earn as much of the in-game currency "robux" as possible. But, there are like around 20-30 of them that are impressively made and worth playing.
One of these better games is "Spraypaint", where you can spraypaint wherever you want in the very nicely modeled map. It is some sort of closed-in abandoned factory area with a skate park in the middle. It has many big walls and cool nooks for both exploration and painting.
I usually played another game called "Free Draw!" with the same mechanics, but just in a blank flat map. I always played it when I felt like my art was not going how I wanted it to, to check that I at least was not worse than the ten-year-olds on Roblox. Not very healthy and sound of me to do, but sometimes you just need to laugh at some weird kids. And that was how I felt yesterday.
So I logged into my old account (after having to remake my password) and decided to enter "Spraypaint" instead of "Free Draw!". I could not help but laugh when I finally dropped into the server. The entire skatepark was covered in like fucking penises and swastikas and on multipe walls "Kill all *n-words*" and "Burn the Faggots" was written. This was entirely different from the vibe in Free Draw!, this was fucking wild.
I quickly figured out that it was just trolls trying to speedrun getting votekicked, but they never were. It was very jarring to se these probably 8-10 year old kids scibble swastikas the wrong way and wish death upon minorities. I will add the paintings I made in "Creations". They turned out pretty good, despite everything.
OTHER HIGHLIGHTS:
"We are so fucking back."
Saturday, 6 January, 2024
I have been sick since New Years and because of this I have mostly just been browsing youtube. Between all the usual shitty stuff, I watched this fantastic youtube video. It filled me with inspiration and even more hatred for the establishment. I think every NeoCitizen should watch this. And every artist. And everyone else. Just fucking watch it.
I have been thinking about the website a lot. Not that I usually do not, but I have been thinking much deeper. I want to add more fun! It is very minimalistic at the moment, and I find it very boring. I want to add more, I want different themes and graphics and one of those "video of the day" boxes. Maybe a music player and SHRINES I want to make a shrine for every little thing I like. And the fun thing is, there is nothing stopping me, but my own unwillingness to take big steps. Nobody expects anything from me, and that is what I love about NeoCities.
I realised this when I wrote a comment to berry-playground, reminding them that a core belief between us NeoCitizens, is that:
Give yourself a pat on the back, fellow NeoCitizen, and go add that ugly graphic to your homepage today! You deserve it.
(QUICK LITTLE BIT OF INSANE EXTRA INFORMATION, when I wrote the changelog entry for today, I did not know how to spell epiphany, so I looked it up AND GUESS WHAT FUCKING DAY IT IS TODAY BRO WHAT THE FUCK what are the odds that I had an epiphany ON FUCKING EPIPHANY)
"New Roommate!"
Saturday, 2 December, 2023
Ever since last entry it has been snowing constantly, and there has been the "proper" snowfall I wanted. Hopefully, it does not stop before christmas.
It is really cold outside, so cold I have to wear both my balaclava and my ushanka to not freeze my face off. I can not say I do not love walking outside around being big and scary. One of my scout leader collegues said I look like a CS:GO character, and I took that as I sign I am doing soemthing right.
In other news, I finally got my Wacom Intuos to work on my laptop. I think I bought it on 21st November, and yesterday I finally figured out how to get the older software my laptop needed to use it. Also trying to work on the ~Other Website~ (You fucking better vote on the name, I am so indecisive)
I pretty recently gained a broken mannequin! She has a cracked skull, is missing an arm and is almost as tall as me. Very scary to have her in my room. I gave her some makeup and tattoos, I plan on adding more soon.
J named her "Manne".
My room is very messy, and it feels more messy than other rooms. I have this weird platform thing that I have my bed on and a little corner under the tiny stair leading up to the platform. It takes up half of the rooms floor space, where I sit around the most, and therefore everything feels smaller. I draw a lot on the side of the platform, I should post some pictures of it.
"Good stuff happening? To me?" Friday, 24 November, 2023
Outside my window, with the code for this blog post in the reflection.
FINALLY IT SNOWED!!! And actually properly snowed and not just tiny frozen needles in the wind, but snow that stays the ground and does not melt. If you count that pathetic angry mist as snow then the first snow came like a week ago. Altough, I have to say, this still doesnt feel like the first proper snowfall. For it to qulified as that, I think there should be big snowflakes, slowly decending from the sky and enveloping everything in dreamy gray. Also today is one month exactly until Christmas Eve! (In Sweden we for some reason mostly celebrate on the "eves" before big holidays.) It makes me look forward to the coming days.
Yesterday, the activity for this week's scout meeting was going to Laserdome! I love how cool you feel running around and hiding behind walls and barrels in the dark neon, and I usually get really into the "war" aspect of it. I also fall into the whole competition of it all, especially when it is something I really deeply want to be good at. I ended up with the worst personal score and my team was also the worst. Not as fun anymore.
Today though, was surprisingly good! Our sports class was canceled, so I had extra time to prepare with my friends for a test on comparing Sweden's and USA's form of government. Shout out to USA for having the weirdest and most convoluted voting system I have ever tried understanding. Also I feel like it is very un-democratic to have the president and congress be able to choose members of the supreme court. The law should be enforced un-biasedly, no? Anyway, I assume the average NeoCities browser agrees with me, haha.
The Animal Farm Analasys however, did not go good. While we were writing, I though the teacher mentioned that we would have another possibility to finish on Monday next week, so I sort of slowed down my pace and elaborated some part I felt like needed it. Then, when there was only me and another guy left in the classroom, my teacher says that there is only ten minutes left. At this, I ask if we can continue on Monday, and she says no!? I had to rush my final statement, which is probably the most important part of the whole analasys...
Right now, I have just ate pea soup with my grandmother (fathers mother) and then as dessert ate ice cream with chocolate syrup that hardens when it is cold.
Tomorrow I am hanging out with J for a sort of pot-luck party with his friends, and this has been keeping me motivated all week. I am very excited for it. In conclution, All the good things today weighed up for the bad things. Very nice.
"Math is created by the Devil"
Friday, 17 November, 2023
Today in school, I first had to start writing an analasys of Animal Farm, and then had a math test. The analasys I feel like I could probably handle but the math test was so fucking hard bro. I felt really stupid and only did one of the questions. The test was thankfully only a way for those who had cleared the first test to show their further knowledge, so I am still passing this section of math. Anyway, I was surprised that I did not cry. Before, when I was younger, I would cry often at tests I did not understand. I sort of admire those who cry over schoolwork. I wished I could care that much about something like this, that is actually somewhat important.
I also saw that Shortparis put out a new single, and I really felt like I wanted to write a review of it. So I might make a music review page. Maybe.
After school, I hung out with J. It was very nice. We looked up the names of Elon Musks ELEVEN(???) children and laughed a lot. He almost means a bit too much to me.
"FNAF MOVIE??!???!?!!!"
Saturday, 28 October, 2023
I went and saw the alredy iconic FNAF movie at a cinema today. I was relived, because it wasn't horrible and was actually good! It is a great task they have taken on and they succeded relatively nicely. Although, I am not a FNAF-fan and all my previous lore knowledge came from a...strange summary by my very excited little brother at breakfast, so I do not have the same emotional and extensive relation to the FNAF franchise as I know many others on the internet has. I will have to write a review of it.
Tomorrow I will go on a sort of volunteer trip to Vässarö. It is an island owned by the Stockholm scouting district. I am supposed to clean and gear up different parts of Vässarö's facilities for the winter, together with my friend and many other volunteers. I will come home on Tuesday, where I will go to my family's country house not far away from Vässarö and on Thursday I will return to the city and enjoy the remaining days of autumn break hibernating in my room.
"Local Guy in Ugly Fox Costume fucks up Antient Ceremony, experiences Ascention after Sceaming at Children"
Wednesday, 25 October, 2023
Since Monday I have been struck by a cold. The previous weekend I led an excursion to our scout corp's cabin for my unit of eight-year-old scouts. It was very fun and very exhausting. Children of that age are very skilled in attack-whining when it is the most inapropriate, like when you are trying your best to light a fire for their food with wet firewood.
The most...interesting part of the excursion was when the scouts would have their "rock ceremony". It is a ceremony where they each put a rock into the big pile of earlier scouts' rocks to "truly" join the unit. It was me and my friend's task to plan the ceremony. We always have a light-trail leading to these mystical, nightly events. A light-trail is when you put out candles and lanterns to lead the way to wherever the scouts are going, reminicent of will-o'-wisps. This was decided.
But, we wanted to do more.
Now, all scouts in the "Spårare" category (8-9 years old) in Sweden, have a mascot named Tofs (meaning something similar to "tassel"). Tofs is a fox and watches over all spårar-scouts, and the rest of his lore is undecided. He is essentially an asset that each corps can use and play around with as they like. My corps (I won't say our name, that is sadly doxxing material.) has an absolutely horrid fox costume that leaders put on and sneak around in. You can probably see where this is going.
I was going to become Tofs.
The idea was, that my friend would explain that Tofs is always watching over us scouts and protects us, and I, as Tofs, would stand up on the nearby mountain-hill-thing and wave the lantern to the scouts, proving that statement.
And, so it was. When it was time, I hurriedly put on the costume over my normal clothes, put my jacket over it, grabbed the plushy fox-head and a lantern, and rushed out into the forest. I carefull climbed up the rocky hill in the lantern-lit darkness. When I came up to the top, I realised that the scouts would probably spot the lantern too early, so I tried to hold the fox head in front of it, to hide the light. But then, disaster struck.
The fucking lantern went out.
There I was, alone on a dark mountain-hill, with no way to communicate to my friend down in the valley that the mission was failed (because I, very inelligently, had forgotten my phone down at the cabin, along with my matches. I am God's favorite torture subject.) I stood there, and as I saw the scouts starting to search for their own special rock to put on the pile, my heart sank. I had to do something. I could not let these tiny humans down. Tofs wouldn't like that.
So, I howled instead.
(Specifically, a combination of howling and "kulning". Kulning is a traditional Swedish herding call that I obsessively learned when I was little. Great example of Kulning by Jonna Jinton on Youtube)
It felt great to hear it echo across the dark valley and seeing the scouts's flashlights leave the ground and point up towards my hill. Some of them howled back, some tried to communicate through a "howl once for 'yes', howl twice fo 'no'" system. I was reminded of myself when I was their age, the magical wonder of knowing it is just one of your leaders in a costume, but finding it much more fun to pretend it is a real omnipotent fox-spirit. Once again, I was one with the forest and filled with child-like joy. It was an extremely cathartic experience.
When I had tumbled back down the hill, I felt my pockets to check if anything had fallen out. I felt a small box in my inner pocket.
I had matches on me the whole time.
"Nationalteatern"
Thursday, 19 October, 2023
This day was slow. I only had one lesson because the other one was canceled. I ignored the assignment we were supposed to do at home and instead learned some lyrics for songs I needed for tonight.
Later, me, my brother and my mum met up with my mothers family at a pub. We were going to a concert with the band "Nationalteatern", a Gothenburgian prog-rock band that my mothers family loves. Seeing them live is sort of like a familiy iniciation ritual. At the pub I ate a schnitzel, it was not that good but I survive. We took two taxis to the venue, since my grandfather can not walk very far. It was snowing outside and it was dark. When we arrived we met my mums friends, we went inside and took our seats.
The concert was magical. On the last songs the crowd stood up and danced and clapped, the energy was on top. 10/10 would love to see them another time.
"Small Update"
Wednesday, 18 October, 2023
I have not been writing much here. A lot has happened. I was in South Korea, I started school again (gymnasium this time), I got arrested for carrying a knife while visiting the Swedish parliament, and more stupid stuff that you will not get to read about, because I am lazy. This is what has happened this week so far.
I had a breakdown last Monday when I was studying for a test. I just felt so useless when I could not even get very simple concepts into my head, especially since I am most often interested in the social sciences. I also felt lazy, because I had already asked to take the test at a later time. My mum tried to comfort me when she saw the tears in my eyes. I forced myself to cry even though I wanted to be angry and scream and be violent. Then I could not stop crying. It was one of the weirdest experiences this far. I never, never, ever cry. Not just because I feel weak, but also because I just don't. It felt so weird to force myself to cry, when I really did not want to, but I had no choice? I couldnt start screaming and punching, my mum was hugging me! I saw it as an experiment. I wanted to see how long I could physically, how my mum would react when I did not stop. Could I run out of tears? When would my mum become angry and when would she become seriously concerned?
I though about sad things to make myself cry more. How it will be years before I will get the chance to maybe, just maybe, feel "just ok" about my body, how me and J will have to wait and wait and wait. I know he is probably reading this (Hej din tönt pöl). On Friday he is coming over and we are going to watch Napola on my old DVD player.
Anyway. I have always been told it is ok and even good to cry, but this did not feel good. Probably because it was forced. But if it was artificial, why could I not stop crying?
My mum suggested a bath to calm down and I sobbingly agreed. I like baths sometimes. One of the best feelings I know is floating in water, I disconnects you from the world and lets you completely relax. We filled our tiny tub with warm water, I took of my clothes and stepped in. It was nice, I felt like I was a young child again. My mum left me to relax by myself and so I did. I leaned back and tried to stop the meaningless tears, then I noticed something on my belly. There was a tiny red blemish and in the center of it, a tick had dug its head in. I am usually not so squeamish about insects, but when the it moved its tiny legs when I poked it, my skin crawled. I stared at it, suddenly hyper-aware of my body's existance in the dirty water, in the dirty tub, in the dirty bathroom. I needed to scream, but instead I let out a panicked horse-like snort and stood up as quickly as I could. I almost stared crying again.
My mum heard my panicked sounds and came in to help me. She removed the tick and jokingly commanded me to but on comfortable clothes and get cozy in my little brothers room. Then I chilled with him the rest of the evening, trying to figure out what had just happened.
Yesterday I was at a punk show with my step-dad, brother and J. We were at the front. If you have not been to amy punk shows, there is one thing you need to know. Big or small, there will always be moshing at the front. When the first band played I was a bit too nervous to dive in, and stayed to the side. J, however, fucking threw himself in there immediately and I was jealous of his confidence. When the second band played, the one that I actually knew of, I decided to get into it a bit more. Sing along to the lyrics I knew, dance harder, move around more. Then when the last band played, I followed J and threw myself in. It was extatic. The feeling of being pushed and shoved around uncontrollably to loud music was strangely exciting. The adrenaline spread throughout my body and I felt unreal in the best way possible. My legs still hurt today.
That is all I have for now, I will try to keep up with new stuff. I will lower the standard in my head of how long these posts should be, so I don't feel pressured to write long.
"Early celebration"
Sunday, 23 July, 2023
Today, we had an early birthday celebration for me, because when it is my real birthday, I will be in South Korea for the World Scout Jamboree. So, we invited my relatives to sit outside in the communal yard of my fathers apartment and eat birthday cake.
On my fathers side, came my grandmother, grandfather and step-grandmother. Then there was my fathers sister and her husband and two children. Also came my grandmother's sister and her granddaughter. On my mothers side came, my mother (obviously), her brother and sister and actually grandmother and grandfather! They usually do not come to any birthday celebrations, my grandmother is peculiar in the way only old people can be. (You know this if you read my blog entry from 1 July) She will not go anywhere if it is too cold or if she can't smoke. Luckily, this was a warm sunny day, and we were sitting outside, so she and grandfather rolled up in their silver car.
To add even more fun, and because it was the last time he could see me before I flew my ass to Korea, my soulbrother and partner in crime J came to celebrate too! (too keep his privacy I will call him only J)
It was a very nice celebration, it might have been my favorite birthday this far! Most of the presents I got were somehow connected to the trip. I got fast drying towels, an inflatable sleeping mat (that I have been wanting for years) and some South Korean moneys to spend when I am there. But I also got a box of fresh cherries, a nice ink pen and a big package of three different things from J. I got two bars of my favorite chocolate, a balaclava to wear when riding my moped (also good when commiting various crimes) and a very special prop from a very special place.
Me and him have known each other for about three years now, but we truly became the close friends that we are, under last year's summer, when we were at the same summer camp. It was a theatre camp so we had many different props and costumes to play around with. Now, one time when we were playing some sort of game, that I do not remember the rules or purpose of, we used some hats from the costume storage. I fell in love with this one specific military-like cap. I managed to sneak it to the room me and J shared with two girls, by switching between wearing it for jokes and carrying it in my hand, working to not pull too much attention to it. I kept the cap in our room the whole period, I loved it so much I even created a sort of character based on it. He was called "Bonna-polisen", meaning "the Farmer-policeman". He had a (badly spoken by me) dialect from somwhere in Sweden, I truly don't know where, and his stupid backstory was that he went into the police education to smuggle weapons. (mostly to the matching character that J came up with, called "Kondom-mössan", meaning "Condom-hat". ...I don't know, man, we don't need much to laugh.) But Bonna-polisen was somehow too stupid to become a policeman in the city, where the real big crimes are, and was instead put in charge of farm animal abuse on the countryside. It was all very fun to play out, and very fitting considering we were at a theatre camp! Then, when the last day at the camp came and I was done packing my stuff, I took the cap in my hands and asked the others: "Should I steal it home?". They all answered that I should. But I thought about having to explain to my parents where I got the cap from, so instead, I left it behind. I regretted this desicion every time I remembered all the good times at the camp.
Then, when J was going to the same camp again this year, I asked him to steal the beloved cap for me. I figured he would do it, we are partners in crime after all. But, as usual, I forgot about it. And then it wasn't a complete surprise when J gave it to me, but I was very, very happy to have it back on my head.
Right now, I am lazily packing for the WSJ, and I am trying to decipher if the buzzing in my body is excitement or fear.
Good luck to me, I guess.
"Cool helmet acquired" vTuesday, 4 July, 2023
My father woke me up at around 12 (it is summer holiday, dont judge me for sleeping in) and said my mother was driving to buy a new helmet, so she can learn to drive a motorcycle, and wondered if i wanted to buy a helmet for riding my moped. I have a Puch Maxi moped, I think it is a Maxi KL model. I love it. It for the most part runs really nice and is very fuel efficient. But, sometimes it just stops going, I dont know what is wrong with it. It often happens when I have a passenger on the back or if I have taken it out another time earlier that day, so I assume it has to do with some sort of overheating.
Here it is!
Anyway, so far I have just been borrowing a (really ugly) helmet from my mothers boyfriend and I want a helmet that looks cool and protects better. The one I have been borrowing doesnt have a chin bar and has a very flimsy visor that fogs up all the time. Very dangerous to ride in traffic if you cant see. So, I said yes. Then, my father said "Oh, good, she's outside right now!". So I had to rush out of bed and throw on whatever clothes I reached for first lol. I ran out to her car and we drove towards the mc-shop. My mom's car is black Camaro, I dont know what exact model or make or whatever but it is very cool. The inside still smells like the artificial vanilla of the earlier owner's hung up air fresheners.
The store was full of jackets, pants, helmets, gloves, chains with locks, masks and everything else you could need. Since we both needed helmets we got a guy who worked there to help us find the right sizes. He was nice, but as always when people hear my voice, he assumed I was a girl. Not fun. Either way, I tried on many helmets with different kinds of looks, paddings and visors. Many of them were too tight for my head (and the humongous brain underneath) but after a long while we settled on a nice matte black one.
Me with my new and severely more badass helmet!
I am still not really used to the complete cheek squishing that the chin bar provides but appearanly it is supposed to do that. At least I feel secure. It is actually kind of nice once you get used to it, it works like a weighted blanket. Did you know, by the way, that someone invented a compression machine for slaughtering pigs? Appearantly they, just as many humans do, they find feeling of being firmly hugged like that comforting, so this person invented a system where the pig is squished between two soft plates when slaughtered. The pig calms down and as a bonus point is held in place when they are slaughtered. I dont enjoy the meat industry at all but I can admit that it is a pretty good idea. Like a last little hug before death.
Another thing about the helmet is that if I breathe with my mouth, I can smell my disgusting breath and it wont go away. I will have to remember to brush my teeth before going out to ride next time.
"Preparation and Results"
Monday, 3 July, 2023
Today I took two vaccination shots needed for the World Scout Jamboree. The doctor doing the vaccination was very nice and had a good way to make me calm down. I am not particularly scared of needles, but they are not pleasant. The waiting room was full, so the waiting suspense before taking the shot made me more nervous than usual. I have now taken six shots in total for this trip, and i am to take two more (i think) through shots, one through pills and one through drink. I think it is so many because in the year 2015, the 23rd WSJ, that was held in Japan, many partakers were afflicted with meningococcal disease. It is a disease that can cause meningitis, which is an infection in the brain and spine cord, and also cause blood infections. The scouts who were afflicted were Scottish and actually Swedish, so I guess that is why we hear extra much about it. Either way, now they take extra precautions whenever the WSJ is held in a country with many diseases the general people are not vaccinated against. The vaccination alone will cost around 10 000 Swedish kronor, which is 845,41 euro and 922,48 usd.
When it was almost midnight, my friend called me and reminded me that we are supposed to get our gymnasium school results at midnight. (Now, I dont know how your country's school system works but in Sweden it works like this: pre-school, low stage, middle stage, high stage. That is the compulsatory school (i think, english is a weird language) and then gymnasium. Then you can also pursue more education at university. I know gymnasium is what many call a place for sports, but I dont know what other word works. You start gymnasium the autumn of the year you turn 16 years old. Gymnasium is a big deal because you choose an orientation (i think it is called major in english) and you can meet people with more similar interests to yourself.) I have chosen "art and form" as my orientation.
Me and my friend stayed on a call when midnight came and we both tried to open the webpage that had the results. Notice: "tried". Just like the rest of the entire fucking country of Sweden. These STATE OWNED servers were crashed INTO THE GROUND. It took more than half and hour for me to see if i got in or not. Anyway.
I GOT IN WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
After the summer holiday, I will start art school and learn there for three years. I am beyond excited."Birth of Someone Old and Death of Someone Young"
Saturday, 1 July, 2023
Today was my grandfather's birthday. Me, my brother and my mother visited them for celebration. We bought strawberries and ice cream, both vanilla and polka flavor, on the way there. My mother's little brother was also there with his nice girlfriend.
Both my grandfather and grandmother are very interesting to me and they become weirder and weirder the older they get. My grandfather only ever wears swimming shorts and maybe a polo shirt, if you are lucky. He has not cut his hair or groomed his beard in a very long time. My grandmother walks using a rollator and has an eye patch, because of her bad sight. Totally not because she's secretly a pirate. She likes leopard print, but rarely wears anything but a long loose button-up shirt. They are old and very lonely, so I always feel a little bad for them. I wish I could visit more often. But they are very nice and tell funny stories about my mom and her siblings. They are from Gothenburg and even though now live in Stockholm, they still have the recognisable dialect. I love the Gothenburg dialect, it feels very homey to me. Sometimes my mother slips into the dialect herself.
There is another traditional thing we eat at grandfather's birthday, except simply strawberries with ice cream.
A few small glasses of liquor, preferably orange flavored, and small bowls of powdered sugar are placed across the table, so everyone has one of each they can reach. You take a strawberry, dip it in the liquor and then dip it in the powdered sugar. Then, you wait a moment, until the powdered sugar melts into the liquor, and then eat the strawberry. It tastes like heaven. Even the sourest of strawberries become sweet and wonderful. If you dont like the small touch of the alcohol, you can shake the strawberry to get off the bigger drops and it still works.
When we go to grandmother and grandfather, we always end up cleaning. They are old and can not do housework very well. Since we were sitting in their backyard today, we did some work there. Their backyard is nice and big and has a side toward the forest. The grass was high and the lawn was covered in pine cones and big branches. My work was to remove the branches and throw them to th forest. I think its fun to clean, especially when you can see the progress happening. But, when I was working I spotted something sad.
A dead roe fawn (click for picture)
It had been dead for a long time and a few bugs were crawling inside it. It was very well camouflaged in the dry grass. It looked peaceful. I wished that I could take it home. Both for extracting bones, and to attempt necromancy on this poor, young thing.
I found the whole thing very bittersweetly poetic. Here we were: a family celebrating the birth of our old father and grandfather, like so many times before. And just a few meters away, a young creature rotted away, unnoticed and insignificant. Although I would assume the mother of the fawn was grieving in her own animalistic way, out there in the forest. I wish her the best.